Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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