im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
