so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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