We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
