ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize