PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
