all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
