Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize