Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
