but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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