everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
