I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
