can we get nightvision for the apartment?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
