I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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