i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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