Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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