I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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