i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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