Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
