Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
