He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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