Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
