well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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