12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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