Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize