it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
