You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
pray to the hookup gods
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