google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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