And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
