TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
