so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
