She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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