even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
