Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
