Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize