I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
