too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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