Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
