my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
