woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
