i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
