yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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