I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
