I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
