That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
pop tarts are not kleenex
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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