hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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