How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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