So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize