I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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