The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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