it's not cheating when I paid for it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
