i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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