He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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