I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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