Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This is the high leading the old right now
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
