Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
