i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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