Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
