Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
