Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize